Monday, May 2, 2016

Stuff Dwarves Say

Does this mask make me look terrifying enough for battle?

Did you say "salted pork"?

My wife's beard looks very nice today.

I can't go--I'm sharpening my ax that night.

Will you braid my hair?

I was thinking of jewel-encrusting my armor.

I can't travel cross-country without my harp!

Hows it going, Balin, on of Fundin, son of Borin, son of Nain, son of Oin, son of Gloin...

I am actually very good at sprinting.
I'm so distressed!  Better tear out my beard.

What's your favorite earthen substance?

When should we reclaim Khazad-dum?  Tuesday?

Did you say "malt beer"?

So I was mining the other day and....

The Elves started it!

Oh, welcome Thorin, son of Thrain, son of Thror, son of Dain I, son of Nain, son of Oin, son of Gloin....

Did you say "meat ripe off the bone"?

Did you say "smoking"?

And then I said, "I may be short but at least I..."

So I was with my friend, probably a hundred years a go last Thursday when...

Baruk Khazâd! Khazâd ai-mênu!

Oooh, mithril!

What's up, Durin VII, son of Thorin III Stonehelm, son of Dain III Ironfoot, son of Nain, son of Gror, son of Dain, son of Nain III...


  1. Classic once again! These are hilarious! :)

    1. Thank you, that's very kind of you :)