Sunday, April 24, 2016

Stuff Hobbits Say

Where's my pipe?

Did I miss a meal?

What is Lobelia Sackville-Baggins wearing?

Did you seriously run out of presents at your birthday party?

Did you see that creepy ranger in Bree?  Strange folk, I say.

How did you get maps of places outside the Shire?
Do you have any longbottom leaf to spare?

Has anyone seen my pipe?

You really think Old Toby is the best weed?

Did you hear?  Gandalf's in town again!  Strange fellow he is.

Mad Baggins is at it again!

It's a great year for gardening.

The grass looks nice this time of year.

Old Sandyman says his mill isn't turning.

Bilbo obviously has mounds of treasure he is hiding.

Really though, where is my pipe?

I can blow better smoke rings than you.

Sam has been spending too much time with the Baggins.  Strange folk, I say.

Do you ever worry our kids spend too much time off in the woods?  Dangerous parts, they are.

Thought I saw some elves in the woods.  Must be a trick of the mind.

Someone claimed to have seen moving trees.  Balderdash!

Where did you get these mushrooms?

Do you have any tea you can spare?

Where I can I get a new pipe?  I seem to have misplaced mine.

Did you meet the new neighbors from Buckland?  It's a strange place.

I hear someone--formerly known as nice and respectable--went out boating.  Bizarre!

Does this waistcoat make me look too potbellied?

Look at this pumpkin!  Round as the sun, it is!

Let's meet at the Golden Perch.  It's rumored to have the best beer around!

Where is my pipe?  It was my grandfather's!

Did you know that Fatty is Daisy's cousin thrice removed on his father's side?  Remarkable!

No, I can't go to the pub tonight, I'm searching for my pipe.



  1. Haha, this is hilarious! As a hobbit myself, I must admit I have heard every single one of these. I've never heard of a hobbit losing their pipe for that long. It's practically impossible! XD