Monday, February 15, 2016

12 Things You Should Never Say to a Lord of the Rings Fan

In honor of my friends who are guilty of saying pretty much all of these things (love you! :)

"The Lord of the Rings?  That's my favorite trilogy!"

"The Lord of the Rings is so racist."
Just click on the link if you have doubts.

"Frodo is like so hot." 
Way to grasp the concept of the story.

"The fellowship is so dumb.  Why didn't they just use the eagles to fly to Mordor?"
Again, link.

"The books are boring.  They're full of inconsequential details."

"So Frodo represents ____ and the Ring represents _____...."

"Frodo is such a baby!  He's always whining!"

"All they do is walk around.  It's basically a tourism commercial for New Zealand."
Yeah that whole thing with the balrog and the Witch King of Angmar never happened.  Heck, there was no storming of the Black Gate or Battle of Helm's Deep or the Pelennor Fields.  I don't know what movie you were watching.

Fact: You can't have action figures if there was no action in the movie.

"Tolkien must have had no life."
Yeah except for being a professor at Oxford, raising four children, fighting in World War I, and publishing four best sellers, Tolkien had no life.

"The ending is too long."
False guy - False. The ending is too short.

"There are books?"

"Why would you cry during this movie?"
Because it's sad, that's why!

Caution!  Be careful about saying these things because Lord of the Rings fans have cavalry.

(This was all meant in good fun, I mean no disrespect to people who have said these things)

Oh, by the way: does anyone have any thoughts on the new title?  I changed the header--do you like it with the book or without?  I can't really decide.  Thanks--have a great day!


  1. Haha! I love the action one! XD
    YES! The ending of too short! Thank you!
    Yes I cry during the movies. It IS sad! Gosh people!
    And yes we have cavalry. Oh goodness this was fun. Thanks for the laugh!
    I like the book! Sorry but I didn't notice at first XD

    1. Haha XD I'm glad you liked it!
      Okay good, I think I'll keep the header for the time being.

  2. Heheh, good post! I've never had anyone say these things to me in real life, but I have heard them online, and it always makes me cringe a little inside.

    I take it back! I actually have had people say stuff like this-- but its my own aunt and grandma! Not surprising, really. They're not the type with the patience to enjoy an epic fantasy of this style. *Shrug*

    1. Family always gets a free pass for saying silly things XD

  3. I've only heard some of these in person, but I've encountered many of them over the internet. :)

    "Frodo is like so hot." Haha, I hadn't heard that one yet, but I probably wouldn't be too impressed. xD

    "So Frodo represents ____ and the Ring represents _____...." That IS annoying.

    So, yes, I love this post. :D

    1. One of my friends is obsessed with Elijah Wood, so I hear about how "beautiful and blue" his eyes are all the time! Thank you so much :)

  4. YES! I hear the one about the books being too boring ALL THE TIME.

    1. Same! The ironic thing is that I hear it mostly from people who haven't actually read all of them...